my flight for missions leaves in less than 12 hrs and i still went to bensbargains.net. man, stankin habits. i still need to pack. this may be my last blog for a while. please pray for me, i really need it.

i had subway for lunch today. its the worst when the person who's making your sandwich is the new guy. i hate newbies. the guys probably been working there for like 2 days and he's never made a sandwich in his life. they make they biggest messes and they take forevs doing it. and u look to the worker next to them and they have the most delicious looking sandwich in their hands. hate it when that happens.

BKU9: y were u studying?
TrUsT2Eve: so that I can get good grades on tests and on my report card next year

i remind you that its wed, june 26th and eveyln's on summer vacation. true gangsta nerd....

oh ya, my grandma also fed me some figs. she was telling me bout the story of how Jesus was hungry and went to a fig tree but found no fruit. so he cursed the tree so that it wouldn't bear fruit ever again. its all in matthew ch 21. so she finished the story and said this is the fruit that Jesus was looking for. so i had some figs for the first time in my life.

i went and visited my grandma today. i think i totally made her day by just visiting her. i was in her area so i decided to stop by and chat w/ her. or rather just listen to her cuz i have no korean verbal skills at all. she kept saying the whole time she wishes that i could speak korean so that we could talk to each other. but since i wouldnt i just listened to her talk bout lotsa stuff. i was surprised that i understood most of what she said. she probably said everything as simple as possible though. but it was nice seeing her happy and just talking bout her life. during one point she mentioned how she was just preparing herself to leave this life and be at peace in heaven. that thought made me so sad, the thought of her passing away. but i should be joyful for her cuz she'll be in heaven, in the prescence of our God, how gangsta is that?

ive only had one person (that i personally knew) die in my lifetime. it was so shocking to hear bout his death. man, i cant imagine my grandma passing away. im scared that i wont feel enough remorse. i dunno if that makes sense but i guess i just hope i shed enough tears. like what if i dont shed any tears? would it be cuz im just cold hearted? or maybe cuz i didnt know my grandma well enough? i think i should just look at it another way. i still hope that im sad and mourn for her death but i also hope that after shes gone that ill enjoy the moments that we had together even more. is that even possible? to enjoy moments of the past even more? i hope so.

my grandma also brought up an interesting topic. i forgot how we got on this subject but she brought up the question, "what if your wife and your brother are drowning. who do you save first? or even better, which ONE do you save?" in my mind i was thinking my wife and i think she read my mind. she said that i would choose my wife right? but she went on to say that isnt the right way to think. she said that i should save my brother cuz hes blood. like theres no way to replace my blood like that but i think she kinda said that a wife is replaceable. i dont wanna quote her on that but i think thats kinda what she said. but ya, she was totally against saving the wife. she was totally for saving my bro. like i dunno what to think anymore. i still think that i should save my wife, but is that me being selfish in some sorta way? like what if i have kids and stuff? what if my bro has a family? but even excluding all other factors just wife or bro, who to choose? my mind keeps telling me that the wife is the one to save. maybe its a culture thing? i wonder who everyone would choose.

korea lost. sadnesses.

not as good as the money video but worth a look:

http://www.hellonetwork.com/demo/toysclub/video.asp?speed=hook300

david hasselhoff at his best....enjoy

i been doing some major driving for the past week. came down from berkeley last sunday. drove up and down to bakersfield last tuesday. went down to irvine and back on wed. finally drove up to valencia right next to magic mtn and came back. i think i drove bout 1000 miles this past week. i need some new cds to listen to.

so i went up to valencia, or rather stevenson ranch last night to visit my cousin. shes been married for almost 2 yrs and they moved into a new house that i havent seen yet. it was really entertaining just listening to em tell me bout when they dated and all these other things. i could see that they had so much love for each other and that God has been evident in their relationship. they said that before i know it, everyone around me is gonna be married. dang, my bro might be the next one, scary thought.

so last night i went to friday night bible study and the new education pastor for young nak led bible study for college group. when he said he was gonna preach on genesis chapter 1 i was thinking, "oh man, ive heard this a million times." but he actually surprised me and had some new insights to it. the interesting thing the pastor said was how moses related the creation story to the israelites. he said that moses was speaking somewhat to the israelites, that they were a "formless and empty" people but God was going to create things and mold them. and i began to realize how my own life is so "formless and empty." i have no idea what imma do w/ my life and i feel like so much of what i do is useless, its just wasted time. thinking bout that makes me depressed but i realize that God is creating stuff for me. hes gonna change my "formless and empty" state into something that is in His image. im hoping that part of this molding and building will happen when i take off for missions. dang, i leave in a week, crazinesses.

wow, korea continues to amaze people in soccer. that and they keep getting some lucky breaks. insanities...

man, i havent blogged in a while. but when most people say that its usually been like 3 weeks. for me its only been 3 days.

went to irvine last wed and chilled w/ my cousin. hes probably driving up to berk right now. its gonna be weird w/ him going to the same school as me now. i hope he likes it at berk. i should pray for him more. i should pray for everyone more. dang, i need to pray more for those who are on summer missions. i need to pray for myself too. so much stuff to pray for. i go pray now. i encourage you to go pray too. go pray!

went and chilled w/ isabel in bakersfield. interesting place, it was a nice visit. but not a place id want to live. not enough koreans and people get married too early. but some places have too many koreans. isabel was a very good hostess, she did the best she could to entertain me. she kept asking me what i wanted to do and where should we go but i didnt care what we did. just wanted to see what bakersfield was like and see her pad. got to meet her parents too, nice people.

then on the way home i saw these 2 dudes walking along the side of the road and i was thinking, "what the heck are they doing in the crazy heat walking?" and then i passed by them. i thought to myself, "dangit, i shouldve stopped and given them a lift." it was too late but i regreted not stopping and giving them a lift to the next stop or whatevs, cuz it was gangsta far.

then later there was a huge cloud of smoke and i passed by burnt up mountains. there was a gangsta fire and it was weird cuz the fire came alive and died out w/in 6 hrs but it went buckwild and left some damage. i bet i could look it up on the local news or whatevs but im a lazy butt.

oo phatyum oo: but ahn is seriously
oo phatyum oo: good looking
oo phatyum oo: like... i dont like him just cuz hes good
oo phatyum oo: i think hes good looking!

oo phatyum oo: i danno if i can handle another game!
oo phatyum oo: my stomach cant handle it
BKU9: aaaaahahaha
BKU9: just eat
oo phatyum oo: it hurt to the point where i wanted to poop

korea made some gangsta goals! it was exciting watching the game w/ my bro and dad. i was sad til korea scored in like the 88th min or whatevs.
dude, everyone jocks ahn. he is pimpin it. im jealous of his hair too. man, my hair should be like his. sigh.

go korea!

BKU9: man, my stomach be acting up on me
superizzie: oh no!
superizzie: that's not good
BKU9: its aight
superizzie: have ur mommy rub it
superizzie: haha
superizzie: that's what my mom did last night
superizzie: haha

so me jongmin and martini decided to get some flints barbq the other night. we had do wait a dang long time but it was worth it. food was good and we got to talk w/ one of the workers. this guy was a ghetto black guy. he was one funny guy. he was talking bout this one place that he ate at in emeryville. "man....that place was geeeeewwwwdddd. sh##########t." he was lost for words, he didnt have any vocabulary to describe how good it was. "that stuff....it was reeeaaaal geewd. my girl felt that one gewwwd too that night." i really enjoyed that conversation.

dude, its a crazy apt when u have kevin and jongmin in the same room. they were both telling us their own farting experiences and stories cuz kevin brought up the subject cuz he farted today really loudly in front of some friends and he was really embarrassed. so anyway, they were telling their stories and man, the room got so dang loud. if youve heard kevins laugh, his crazy laugh, it gets pretty dang loud and it makes me laugh just hearing his laugh. and then jongmin is just gangsta loud. u gotta always remind him to keep it down cuz he doesnt realize how crazy loud he is. his laugh is just sheer uncontrollable power. and then jongmin started chasing kevin around after he got out of the shower cuz of some stuff and kevin only had his boxers on and he was showing off his chest and belly hair. oh man, it was hilarious. kevin acts so funny when hes bout to get ripped cuz he starts apologizing like mad and laughing uncontrollably. and then martin popped in just at the right time w/ his camera and when he saw what was going on his eyes lighted up and he got all excited at the action. he got some nice pics in. hopefully martini will put em up on his website, www.martinkang.com

had my first day of motorcycle riding. man, i woke up late at like 6:45am, the time that i was supposed to be there. so i grabbed my gear and jammed over there but they had already started. and they said the day before that if ur even 5 min late then they probably cant catch u up and that you have to pay like a $50 fee and come back next time. i was pretty bummed but the guy let me get in and another instructor caught me up quickly. but man, motorcycle riding aint easy. it takes a lot of skill and practice. i would give mad props to any girl that can ride one well. dude, i dont even know if imma pass tomorrow. there were times when i was getting the hang of it but there were also times where i jacked up a grip. dude, theres one thing that i dont understand. if u wanna turn right then they tell u to push the handlebar w/ ur right hand. but if u push the right handlebar then the wheels turn left! but ur also supposed to lean to the right so i guess somehow the lean makes it turn. but the thing is if u push the handlebar w/ ur left hand then youll tip over cuz ur going at too crazy of an angle or whatevs. anyway, i just hope i pass tomorrow. id be embarrassed if i didnt cuz everyone would ask me how the motorcycle class went and id have to tell em that i failed it. maybe God is just gonna make me fail so that i dont kill myself riding a motorcycle. whatevs...

had dinner w/ julie and got to catch up on things. im glad that i came up to berk and was able to find out whats going on in peoples lives.
ended up playing monopoly w/ martini and jongmin as well. monopoly is evil, it makes people feel so down when they have to pay other people thousands of dollars cuz they landed on their property w/ a hotel on it. and the worst is when u just rolled a double and u have to roll again and u land on another hotel. even when u win u feel bad for the other person, monopoly just makes everyone feel bad.
talked w/ martini a lil afterwards. he told me to just think bout things more. i like this blog cuz it makes me think more. i can just write crap down but id rather write quality stuff. so i have to think up quality stuff. dangit, dont have anymore time to think, gotta wake up in 4 hrs to learn how to ride a motorcycle.

saw austin powers 2 the other night for the first time. it was still funny even though they reused a lot of the old jokes. mike myers is a good actor. heather graham sucks bigtime.

korea won. i wonder what would happen if people had as much pride in Christ as they did in their world cup soccer team. we need to boast in Christ more.

i had a pretty weird day. i pretty much hung out w/ young the entire day. she woke up late and i hadnt eaten lunch at that time so we went and grabbed some sandwiches by the far walgreens on telegraph by the freeway. both of us havent been there and someone told me it was good. that place was good, had big sandwiches w/ good meat. that place was pretty busy even tho it was 3pm. so after eating we just talked and lounged around and then martin stopped by and me and him rustled and tustled w/ each other. i remember my bro and i used to do that kinda stuff where we would try to pin each other and stuff w/out really hurting each other. then martin had to study and young and i were gonna go watch a movie in sf. andy got me 2 passes to a special screening of the bourne identity. so we go a lil late and find out that the theater was full and there were no more seats. and if that wasnt bad enough, we go back to my car 5 min later and find out that we still gotta pay $5 cuz its the evening all night fee crapola. so me and young were thinking of what to do in the city cuz we wasted $7 ($2 for toll). we ended up just driving randomly through sf and saw all these weird things like this sno-drift place and the golf driving range that i see on the way home from church and the bottom of the bay bridge where these 2 huge support beams are placed at a weird angle. we finally went back home after driving around the whole city and then she packed up some of her stuff to move while i hung out w/ julie for a lil. then we went and ate dinner at a korean restaurant. man, its sad that youngs leaving capri too. everyone seems to be leaving. wish everyone stayed longer so i could get to know em better and hang out w/ em more. man, i think even martins gonna leave soon. gotta keep making the most of the lil time thats left.

i think the worst part of laundry is folding up the clothes.

hayeun referring to the inadequate amount of females that are pleasing to the eyes:
Nueyah: give up, you're in berkeley. it's drought season, all year long, every year.
word...

marcia is a jacker:
BKU9: u can have my french and indian war paper
MarciaOckingbird: hahaha
BKU9: u wanna take it huh
MarciaOckingbird: haha no
MarciaOckingbird: that piece of crap?

c.s. lewis says some interesting stuff in the screwtape letters:
"I would make it a rule to eradicate from my patient any strong personal taste which is not actually a sin, even if it is something quite trivial such as a fondness for county cricket or collecting stamps or drinking cocoa. Such things, I grant you, have nothing of virtue in them; but there is a sort of innocence and humility and self-forgetfulness about them which I distrust. The man who truly and disinterestedly enjoys any one thing in the world, for its own sake, and without caring two-pence what other people say about it, is by that very fact forearmed against some of our subtlest modes of attack. You should always try to make the patient abandon the people or food or books he really likes in favour of the 'best' people, the 'right' food, the 'important' books." carnitas is the best and i dont care what u think or say bout that. same goes for flamin hot cheetos.

"It is far better to make them live in the Future. Biological necessity makes all their passions point in that direction already, so that thought about the Future inflames hope and fear. Also, it is unknown to them, so that in making them think about it we make them think of unrealities. In a word, the Future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity. It is the most completely temporal part of time - for the Past is frozen and no longer flows, and the Present is all lit up with eternal rays. Hence the encouragement we have given to all those schemes of thought such as Creative Evolution, Scientific Humanism, or Communism, which fix men's affections on the Future, on the very core of temporality. Hence nearly all vices are rooted in the future. Gratitude looks to the past and love to the present; fear, avarice, lust, and ambition look ahead." screw the future! the future is evil!

BKU9: who do u want me to bring?
BKU9: kevin?
superizzie: eek!

everyone around me is working cept myself. my bro wakes up at like 6:30am or something cuz he starts work at like 7:30am. everyone in my apt has a job. jongmin and kevin have work at 9am. andy gets up gangsta early as well cuz he has work in sf. and everyone whos taking summer school has a part time job or theyre at least looking for a job or internship. but billy ku, hes just messin around and doing nothing and waking up late. i feel like an unproductive loser. i hope God will still be pleased w/ my summer. 2 and a half weeks til missions. i think im more scared than excited. i hope that i wont be a waste of space there. ill probably end up being the slave boy since i dunno how to speak french.

im back in berk. ive realized that wherever i am, id rather be elsewhere. so right now i want to be in la. but when im down south i wanna be in berkeley. im never satisfied.

i went up to visit julie and on the way i was bout to stop by kathleens pad but i realized that she wasnt there anymore. when i was leaving julies pad i was gonna stop by the juns/janets pad but then i realized they gone too and so was the apt above them. sad, no more late night talks w/ any of em. no more playing clue w/ martini and hayeun. dang, i forgot to do that before hayeun left. time needs to stop going by so quickly. i should stop wasting my time playing counterstrike.

dank IM91: i feel like a girl right now
dank IM91: "oh no, i can't eat...its too late"

PHAT boy Shim: i thought i was going to faint when i saw ***** at church

i wonder why world cup is such a big deal to the world. then i wonder why its not such a big deal in the u.s.

im still using too much shampoo. im too used to needing lots of it.

im so sad. my mom just raged on me and made me cut my hair. she was fine w/ it the day before but i guess today it was just too messy for her likes so she forced my bro to cut my hair. man, there was so much hair piled up. man, wish she didnt make me cut it. i knew this day would come, it was inevitable. but nothing prepares u for this kinda stuff. its kinda like goodbyes. like for the seniors, a lot of em knew that they wouldnt see a lot of the other people again, and they knew that the day would come but it doesnt hit em til its ova. ok, that was a terrible analogy i think but its late and im tired and sad and im w/out my beloved hair. so ya, im walking around w/ short hair again. sadnesses.

ive been reading 1 corinthians these days. came across something interesting in ch 14:
"Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him..."
sigh, maybe its time for me to cut my hair....

i was riding w/ chonkey in his car and andy was in the backseat. earlier i asked chonkey if he sings loudly when he drives, like screaming loud to his linkin park cd. he said ya but he wouldnt scream for me. so then later when andy was in the car we were listening to track #2 on the hybrid theory album, its called "one step closer." if ur familiar w/ the song theres a part where it goes, "Everything you say to me!!!!" and chonkey screamed that really loud into my ear. then theres a part right after that follows sung by another person that goes, "Takes me one step closer to the edge, And I'm about to break!" and andy busts out w/ those lyrics out of no where. he had no idea that chonkey was gonna sing at all and he had no clue bout our earlier conversation so he thought chonkeys screaming was just random and he just followed after him out of the blue. andy cracks me up.

everyone loves to tell stories. i think thats a good talent or gift or whatevs to have: being a good story teller. some people suck at telling stories, they just always ruin it cuz of the way they tell it or they miss important details or whatevs. sometimes people just have bad stories. yesterday some friends and i were playing a board game and someone started talking bout a past experience they had w/ the same game. that person told their 1 min long story and it just left me thinking "and.....?" i was waiting for a punchline or something but nothing came after it. and i was thinking to myself "oh man that story sucked!" and i was laughing inside, actually i was laughing out loud as well and andy asked me what was so funny and i said that i would tell him later. i wish i could just tell the whole thing but i dont wanna hurt anyones feelings.

i started reading the screwtape letters by c.s. lewis. its some interesting stuff. man, this is the first time ive read for pleasure in a looooooooong time. probably since like elementary school or something like that. i got the book as a gift, i think it was a very good one. i like how the book is a bunch of short letters put together. it makes it easy to read and u can just sit down for 5 min and read just one letter or u could keep going as long as u want. but some books have like no breaks at all and i hate that cuz i dont like leaving in the middle of it. im looking forward to finishing this one and then going onto mere christianity.

the pegster talking bout herself:

nobobaforyou: u havent seen my rolls
nobobaforyou: and i aint talkin california

i think pablo and pattimayo got toasted at the beach yesterday. i think everyone got burned somewhat except for me. but pablos chest and pattimayos legs looked as pink as a flamingo. me, huge, and andy wasted a lot of time on the rocks trying to catch stupid crabs. why are those lil things so hard to catch?

ive been getting like 12 hrs of sleep a night. i like it.

so ya, i loved the lakers back in the day when nick van exel was the man and he always took the last shot and made these crazy 3 pointers all the time. and those were the years when the tv always caught elden cambell picking crap out of his year and looking at it and tossing aside. i think my bro and i are the only people that always noticed that. and thats when vlade divac was on the team too. but i dont like him since hes the biggest flop in the nba and he whines too much. but not as much as arvydas sabonis, i remember when that foo cried once after playing shaq, he was literally in tears on tv. thats pretty sad.

i need to fix my stankin computer, it still needs a new motherboard. i cant use the computer at night cuz my bro sleeps so dang early. but thats kinda better for me so that i sleep a bit earlier and get other lil junk done.

isabel is a bad maam a jamma:

superizzie: brb
superizzie: talkin to my girlfriend

ah yeah, lakers still own. but they aint as dominant as before. actually im much less of a laker fan now than i used to be. i loved the team like 5 years back when they had van exel and peeler and eddie jones and elden cambell and them. i gotta go but more on the lakers when i get back....

isabel talking bout herself on dank's sn:

dank IM91: they're all playing tony hawk
BKU9: u stressin?
dank IM91: nah
dank IM91: sylvia got me sick
dank IM91: it's all good though
dank IM91: i should go steal the remote cotrols from them
dank IM91: haha
dank IM91: and play myself
dank IM91: show them my skateboard moves
dank IM91: haha
dank IM91: u want some of this!
dank IM91: haha

i think i already miss berkeley.

it sucks that i dont have my own computer at home. my brother sleeps so dang early, like at 11pm cuz hes gotta wake up at like 6am or something like that. man, i dont think ill ever be able to get used to that kinda lifestyle. maybe ill just be forced to but imma hate it. his sleeping pattern is just another sign of him getting old.

ive realized that loyalty is a rare characteristics these days. especially in a friendship. i feel like were in an age where friendships come and go so quickly and that very few of them really last. i think friends tend to change even every semester depending on ur schedule and what classes ur taking and that kinda stuff. it seems like everyone is expected to have drama. its a normal thing for friends to jack friends for another girl/guy. they could make korean dramas out of our lives. i feel like i have only one truly loyal friend in the world. i know that hes the type of person to get my back no matter what. he would take a punch for me, he would take a bullet for me, that kinda stuff. hes gonna be there for me, the only thing he needs to know is when and where. ive realized thats y gangs do so well. is cuz they feel like theyve got a family. that no matter what, his guys are gonna be there for him and back him up. they show true loyalty cuz they dont abandon each other ever. i think its kinda the same thing w/ frats. the guys feel a sense of safety when theyre w/ each other and they just feel like theyre genuinely being cared for cuz theyre loyal to each other. and this is something that the church lacks. were so quick to give up on each other at the first sign of trouble. we point out each others faults w/out hesitation and expect them to change before we associate w/ them again. we need to stop jacking each other and show more loyalty towards each other.