so im still thinking bout college writing. ya, yall must be tired of reading bout college writing this and college writing that. well boo hoo, i aint here to please u. so as i was saying, college stankin writing. what to do....i was leaning towards sticking through with the class these last 2 weeks but now im unsure again. i was looking over the junk i need to do for it: i need to write 1 full essay (5 pager), revise and edit 3-4 papers, fix up a summary/writing exercise booklet that we did for a book (some of the writing exercises included drawing my apartment and talking to the drawing and then pretending to be the apartment and talk back to myself: ridiculous stuff), 3 short essays (2 pagers) on that stupid booklet that i made, plus 3-4 short reflections (1 pagers) on some stupid short poems/readings.
so im thinking to myself, "i really really really dont want to do this work."
then i say, "but im not gonna want to do it next year either."
but, "im 99% sure ill get a C (if not worse) in the class."
well, "will i do better next year?"
hmm, "i want to work much harder and get an A."
still, "how realistic is that?"
uh, "its totally possible. i wanna study more; im trying to become a nerd."
eh, "but its like that every year..."
ya, "im making progress. the past 2 semesters at cal i missed over 100 classes. this semester ive missed less than 10."
wait, "but if i drop ill get a W on my transcript!"
shrug, "who cares, im not applying to grad school. plus its just one W. and its 6 units of 2.0 if i stick w/ it."
sigh, "well its up to me, i just gotta make sure that i bust it up next time i take the class."
question, "will it be better next time i take it?"
answer, "it should be. teacher shouldnt be as crazy. class will hopefully get out earlier. i hope workload wont be as gangsta or ridiculous either. maybe ill have better study habits. but really, only time will tell...."
ugh, "i really dont wanna go to class tomorrow."
ok, "that does it. screw going to class. might as well just drop it."

i think imma be here at cal for 5 and a half yrs. i will be known as the 6th year superman senior. stupid late telebears: stankin may 2nd. soph standing sucks.

dude, im so sad....i just found out that i cant take college writing at a jc....im really, really sad. sigh. to drop, or not to drop, what in the freezy do i do?

man, so many topics to write about. so our soph class did our sister's appreciation thingy this morning. thats part of the reason y i only got 3 hrs of sleep cuz i had to wake up early to cook french toast. letme be the first to say that i was the only brother that was against this whole sister's appreciation thing and voiced against it. i just gotta be honest to myself and to everyone that reads this. i didnt wanna do sister's appreciation for a number of reasons. one being time: its late in the semester and just planning it all out and doing everything amidst all this busyness was not a good idea. someone said that it would only take like 1-2 hrs and he was right but the overall planning and preparation and everything took many hrs. second, i felt that this sisters appreciation was somewhat forced upon the brothers. not from the sisters, but from some of the fellow brothers. like i was the only one to voice my opinion but it seemed like everyone else was down to do it. so that leaves me the option of not doing it and looking like a jacker or just going along w/ the rest of em. third, i dont know some of the soph sisters well enuf to appreciate them. u cant appreciate someone unless u know them and i just felt that it wouldnt be genuine appreciation if i didnt know them. fourth, i would wanna go all out for a sisters appreciation and do everything crazy good. but anyway, this is just my own take on all of this. im gangsta tired. screw college stankin writing, i gonna just drop the class.

ok, i kno ive been complaining too much again. time to talk bout something different. i went to gospel choir night sat night cuz marcia forced me to buy a ticket but im glad that i went. i was really impressed by many of the things that i saw. its crazy that those singers have so much passion. man, just made me realize how passionless i am. i need more zeal in everything that i do: through my words and actions as well. anyway, i kinda forgot what else i wanted to say bout it cuz i only got 3 hrs of sleep and i didnt write in my blog bout it right away. but i recommend people to go next time. those singers r gangsta.

so me huge and elise went over to marcias later after the concert and we was just hanging out and talking. marcia pretended to try to throw a ball at my head but she was really aiming for huge's crotch and she connected. then huge told us when they went to magic mtn he caught her glancing at his crotchular area. marcia is a dirty perv.

the number of hours of sleep i got since last sunday:

sun night/mon morn - 4 hrs
mon night/tues morn - 5 hrs
tues night/wed morn - 0 hrs
wed night/thurs morn - 16 hrs
thurs night/fri morn - 1 hr
fri night/sat morn - 6 hrs
sat night/sun morn - 3 hrs

that means for the past week i've been averaging about 4 hrs of sleep a night. and now i got a paper to do for college stankin writing. i really wanna just go and drop the class tomorrow and take a W. im so ready to do that. thats how much i hate it. i hate that class w/ a passion. i dont hate many things in life. i cant even think of anything that i hate cept this stankin class. im so tired that i dont wanna write anymore.

http://www.rpi.edu/~changb/money_funny.asf

this is the best....

still 2 sentences baby.....

man, 2am and im on page 0. i feel my sinful nature kicking in again. sigh....i think i sigh a lot. its not a good thing to be sighing. cuz whenevs i sigh, its a sigh of "man i got so much work" or "i dont wanna do this but i gotta" or "i hate this." anyway, i got like 2 sentences for my ling paper which is supposed to be 7 pages single spaced. but no way imma single space it; at least 1.5 if not double spaced. i dunno why im not all worried bout this paper, maybe cuz its just a rough draft and it dont really count.

i think im just worried more bout college writing. i really hate that class. yes, i know ive said that a million times but i dont think anybody understands unless theyve taken that class. and even if uve taken that class u probably didnt have a teacher that sucked as much as mine. i hope that my teacher never reads this cuz then id feel bad. but its the truth. ugh, my life wouldve been so much nicer this semester without that class. i really wanna drop that class right now. yes, i wanna take the W even though its like the 13th week or whatevs. i hate it THAT much. if you ever wanna suffer then take college freakin writing, i guarantee that you'll hate it. going to class is like anticipating the cold air right after you take a shower. you feel so nice and warm in the shower but you know that you're gonna have to step out eventually. right after you turn off the shower head the coldness starts to sink in. when you open the door another crazy wave of coldness slaps you right on the buttcheeks and then the nipplies get hard (at least mine do). thats what class is like, im walking to class and i know that im walking into the depths of hell, but i cant turn back. right when i step into the room i start to whimper. then the beast walks in and thats when i want to toss myself out through the window. may God have mercy on my soul....

i forgot to mention my basketball game. we lost on tues night, sigh. but thanks for all of those who came out and cheered us on, we appreciate the fans. its sad that our season is over. i kept on thinking bout the little mistakes that i made. dang, im already looking forward to next season.

so anyway, paul was getting ready for the boat dance right now. i saw that he got a haircut and i asked, "got a haircut for the boatdance?" he said, "uh.....no. um, i just needed one." haha, still trying to impress the ladies i guess. and then he jelled his hair and everything. he was also kinda stressin bout what to wear cuz he had nothing really dressy so he just put on whatevs and went. i wonder if hes gonna dance this time cuz i heard he didnt dance at all last yr, he just stood outside w/ andy and didnt do jack squat. and the top 2 pimps of our class, andy and john, arent going so the ladies must be sad, i think there'll be a drop in attendance cuz of their absence.

well, i didnt get sleep on tues night/wed morning cuz i had to work on some college freakin writing junk. i think im hating that class more and more w/ each passing day. but ya, last night/this morning i caught up a bit on sleep from my lack of it. i slept like 16 hrs. haha, yup. from 6pm wed night to 10am thurs morning. but now i gotta work on my stankin ling paper. the papers just keep on comin....

time moves crazy fast when u keep dozing off.
i hate college writing even more.

for like the past 4 nights i've been sleeping at like 5 or 6am. i really dunno how my body is handling this lack of sleep.

i've come to another realization: college writing sucks even more than i previously thought.

man, i ended up reading blogs for like a stankin hour.
hayeun said some stuff in her blog that made me laugh:
"That big jerk of a billy...always trying to find ways to screw me over. But it's ok, I shouldn't seek vengence. God punishes those who deserve it, and I have faith in this. Just look at Billy's hair."
hayeun is a hater!

i nominated rob for an officer position in ficb yesterday. i wonder who will get selected for officers. its weird thinking bout the future of ficb. imma be a junior and my class has to start stepping it up now. its clajee that were gonna be juniors soon. ok, im thinking too ahead of myself, need to concentrate on these next 4 weeks.

so i brought home a clown costume cuz they had one at church and they were gonna toss it so i just took it cuz it would be a waste to throw it away. the clown suit is pretty hilarious. pablo put it on last night and we went around scaring people. a couple disappointing scares but a few good ones too.

4 hrs of sleep last night and i still have too much junk to do.

wow....that took me like less than 5 minutes. i re-read Romans 13 cuz were gonna go over that in Bible study and it was so short and simple. then i prayed a short and simple prayer and bam! i was done. im really shocked, God continues to amaze me.

dude, this whole week ive been sleeping way late. been getting only like 5 hrs a night. im a stankin retard for doing this junk. ive realized that 99% of the crap that goes wrong in my life is my own fault. man, if i was more obedient to God then my life would be so much more stankin easy. and really it takes so little to keep my life on track. it always comes back to reading the Bible and praying. thats always the cliche answer but its so true. thats the solution to my problems like 99% of the time. its kinda ridicurous that Christians are so messed up. all we need to do is those two simple things. right after i finish reading this i should do those 2 things. so should you.

a couple people think that andy has been acting kinda weird lately. this could possibly be true. but it only seems this way when him and martini and hayeun are together. i think theres just a lot of tension w/in that group. you wanna know my take on this? theyre all involved in a love triangle. so hayeun used to like martini but now she jocks andy hard. martini is andys small group leader and now hes jealous of andy. andy has no clue as to whats going on cuz hes on "auto-pimp" mode. he truly oblivious to the mad jocking that he gets. i wonder what would happen if andy switched to "manual-pimp" mode. crazinesses.....

i hate it when i lose a sneeze. that happened to me today and judy said that when she tries not to lose one, she just stops breathing. then she showed us a demonstration. it was hilarious. she did it like 5 times. hayeun and i enjoyed a good laugh, thanks judwhaee.

now go read ur Bible. and if its too far or u dont got one then go to www.bible.com. now u suckas dont have any excuse. dangit, now i gotta go read so that i dont become a hypocrite. i mean, woohoo, Bible reading time!

i went to a jazz concert last night w/ a bunch of people. we saw this crazy guy, forgot his name, but he got a bunch of grammy nominations and stuff. but ya, he sang all crazy, wish i could sing like him. he could go dang high and gangsta low w/ his voice. it was a very entertaining show. and the bass player broke one of his strings, i dunno how u break a bass string by plucking. the whole concert thing was very interesting, i feel more cultured now. then me andy martini and hayeun went ova to in n out and talked and got fatter.

im at the library right now. i was reading on memorial glade cuz its so dang nice outside. then i took like an hour nap there out in the sun. very nice. hope my face didnt get burned.

6am....stankin tired. last night slept at like 5:30. night before that was like 5. y do i do this to myself, sigh. so i started reading other people's blogs and ive realized that everyone and their mama's mamas got blogs. man, everyone's got links to other peoples blogs and i kept on clicking and clicking. dang the internet. dang my broken computer.

seems as though everyone tries to say something profound on their blogs. they try to say "deep" stuff. me, i like to keep things simple. here's my "deep" thought of the day: school really sucks.

ok, ill give the short version of what i typed before:
so this lil girl evelyn, whos in awana, has her own blogspot. dude, everyone and their mama's have blogs these days. so anyway, her blog is pretty crazy and i was encouraged and amazed by it cuz shes only a 4th grader and the "God" related things that she talks bout are very interesting. and her blogs have pictures and stuff too. if ur reading this evelyn u must teach me how to do it. and she even studies more than me: God's trying to tell me something there.....so ya, ill pray for ya evelyn.

next thing i was talking bout was bout me going on missions. i still havent decided yet and yes im such an idiot for not figuring that out yet. that God for grace. but ya, its between going through NAIM to canada or through AWM to paris. ya, i was thinking the same thing at first: paris??? and then i thought: PARIS!!!!! i know, my mind is evil, but its still missions though. this mission trip is aimed toward the muslim community in paris. theyre trying to reach an unreached people group by preaching to them in a "free" country. the hope of the mission is that these muslims would hear and accept the gospel and then return or visit their homeland (a "closed" country). in places like the u.s. and paris we have the luxury of preaching the gospel freely but in other countries preaching the gospel is against the law and you could get killed for it. how crazy is that? getting killed for telling others about Jesus Christ. we have too much to be thankful for here. and here i am complaining bout my stupid broken computer (which is still broke) while other Christians are being persecuted for what i take for granted. ok, i dunno what more to say, so ill stop here.

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i just spent like 20 min typing up a blog and then i accidently clicked undo or some junk and i deleted practically all of it. this really sucks. computers are the devil....

went to the giants/dodgers game. was my first time at pacbell, nice park. went w/ a bunch of eastbay people, got to meet some new brothers and sisters. i had some gangsta garlic fries which made my breath kick like john chi and then i saw bonds make a game winning hit in the bottom of the 9th to make the final score 2-1. oh well, imma be going to the next game in like 8 hrs. after i got back martini, hayeun, andy and i played clue from like 1-4. haha, that game is so much fun. the first time i played it (bout a week ago) the soph brothers didnt like it too much and i was sad cuz i thought that we would never play it again. but we found it to be so strategic and lotsa fun. that game really worked our minds. so i go to pacbell again w/ martini, hayeun, and dan "the man." hopefully dodgers will win and the giants fans wont yell f*ck L.A. again as their cheer. i didnt kno that sf fans were so brutal.

i just finished my paper for college freakin writing. i ditched class in order to finish it. this is the 3rd time that ive ditched class so that i could avoid turning it in. i just finish it and then email it to her and say that i was sick so i didn't show up to class. and its always a bonus to miss class. but ya, its dishonest, sigh. i really need to change that, i've realized that its the little things in our lives that we need to change. if my teacher were to find bout my blog and read this stuff i think she would be pretty disappointed in me. and not only that but i think it would stumble her to find that i'm a Christian yet she sees my lies.

last night was another example of the "little things." we had our flag football IM game which we won like 20 something - 0. but i think our team complained too much both to the refs and to the other team. the other team was pissed at us for a number of reasons and i think they had a right to be. i watched part of the game from the sidelines and i heard a lot of the comments that the other team made and they were definitely not very encouraging words. and after the game we were prayed but i didnt want to because i thought that the other team would look at us praying and think, "those guys pray? they just acted like punks during the game and now they're praying; what hypocrites." the last thing i want to do is stumble another person. if sports are going to hinder others from believing in the gospel then we shouldnt be participating in them. ive realized that i need to be more conscious of my actions while i play sports and even more than that, in all aspects of my life. ok, i cant think straight no more cuz i gotta take a whiz....

andy went to san jose this weekend for his brothers key club event thingy. his brother is the governor of key club which is supposed to be a gangsta position cuz that puts him in charge california, nevada, and hawaii for key club. hes got like the highest possible student position. the chon's are just crazy sexy. but ya, andy cried in his brothers farewell speech or something like that. mustve been a pretty powerful speech there. wow, andy is so sensitive....

i was reminded of a story that happened bout a month ago. so a bunch of us were going out for hiyas' bday and me and andy went over to walgreens to look for something to get her. chose walgreens cuz we couldnt think of anything good to get her and walgreens has a large variety of stuff so we went. so we both get dressed and we were wearing the same jeans and very similar shirts, just different colors. we didnt think much of it at first but later i realized that i shouldve changed. so then we get to walgreens (the one on shattuck near berkeley bowl, not near the bart station....the bart station one is a lot smaller and suckier) and we were just rummaging around. i saw some pots and flowers and junk and thought that hiyas would like that so i got her some soil and pots and flower seeds. in the meantime andy gets some pots also and some onion and jalapeno seeds so that he can grow em himself. isnt andy so wonderful? so we get in line and we look at those listerine paper mint things. andy says that its such a waste cuz the packet is so small but the whole overall packaging was so big. i told him that it wouldnt sell as well if it was the small package, people need to be able to notice it so it was just a part of advertising. then andy says, "billy, you're so sexy." so imagine this, 2 asian guys wearing the same thing and standing in line w/ pots and seeds and soil and one of them calls the other "sexy" and a bunch of other people are standing in front and behind us. i felt so fruity. i wanted to sock andy right there but all i could say was shutup. that was a weird experience.

i went trick or treating w/ pablo, peggy, and josie at 2am. they came over and we was bored so we put on some outfits and went to some other capri apts. the reaction that we got was kinda disappointing but whatevs. we got candy from everyone cept martini. now im crazy tired. paper due monday, imma die again, this sucks. we also lose another hr cuz of daylight savings crap. sucks even more.

played simpsons clue til 2am. started playing at like 1 or so. crazy tired, 8am awana prayer meeting, dangit.

sigh....at the library. studied for like an hr and now i gotta get outa here.....computer still don't work, dangit.

my computer died last night and it didnt work again this morning. im so sad, this really sucks. im computerless....

ive realized that a lot of people don't update their blogs too often. it seems like i'm the only one that updates their blog like every other day or so. i get tired of clicking on other people's links and finding a blog that was posted 2 weeks ago. ah whatevs, i complain too much.

went to the library today, its been a while since ive studied there. man, i got like so little work done cuz i fell asleep. i think it was my body's instinctive reaction to studying. billy and studying do not mix well.

andy is a chick magnet. he was on the phone for like 2 hrs cuz this yuj that jocks him called. hes my hero.

sylvia was waving bye from inside the car and she hit her finger against the window and grimaced in pain. she cracks me up.

doing a paper, im really hating it. college writing sucks. they should officially change the course title to "college freakin writing."