i waste too much time doing nothing. i should use that time to pray. my prayer life is so stankin weak.

http://www.jhu.edu/~newslett/03-29-01/News/a15.html

"The top ranked school for women was University of Texas at Austin, while the school earning the unlucky No. 300 was The University of California at Berkeley."

how sad....

i havent been getting enough sleep for the past week. ive been really really sleep deprived. but somehow my body is still surviving. ive had late night talks for the past 4 nights. man, its nice having nothing to worry bout for the next day. imma really hate it when school starts. how in the world im i gonna study, God help me.

"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch youself, or you also may be tempted." Galatians 6:1
"Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." Galatians 6:10

been gone for a while again. went to fresno and was a counselor for a youth group retreat. i think some of us counselors were blessed more than the students there. man, it was so much of a blessing to be at that retreat. and hanging out w/ all of the counselors really made me love all of them more. theyre really a great bunch, and i think God has special plans for each one of them. i was a joy just staying up late w/ them and talking bout so many different things. and then last night stayed up way late again talking w/ andy, was nice catching up w/ him.

man, i feel like so much has happened this past week. but it also went by so stankin fast. same thing w/ this summer, so much stuff i got to experience but at the same time it flew by like crazy. i want to put into words what happened this summer but i dont think i will be able to. i just pray that God would ingrain into my head the things that happened, the things that ive learned, and the things that He's convicted me of.

during bible study i got put on the spot bout my missions trip. i was lost but somehow i managed to say something decent i think. its hard to figure out what to say and how much to say. like everyone asks, "how was missions?" and i dunno how to respond. r they just asking for the sake of asking? do they just wanna hear if it was good or bad? or do they really wanna know every single lil detail. some people just want to hear a lil but thats so hard cuz u kinda have to tell a lot, u cant really just tell part of it cuz its not complete. man, i need to just finish my stankin testimony and give that out.

a grip of people came back this past week from their summer mission trip. it seems like theres a lot more people doing summer missions this year. i pray that this would not just be a random year of lotsa people going on short term missions, but rather i pray that God would be bringing a revival. i remember a retreat, i think it was last summer, where pastor david park spoke. it wasnt your average retreat, there was something different bout it. i couldnt tell exactly what it was, but i felt something special. and i know that there were others that sensed something abnormal. i remember robin saying, "i think that God's gonna do something crazy." for a while i was waiting for something to change, to see some kinda results after that retreat. i didnt really see anything, and then i began to doubt that something was gonna happen. but finally i think that this is the beginning of that something. i pray that God would call more people to the mission field and that a true revival would come out of young nak. and out of kcpc as well. i need to start praying for bigger things. i think i pray for small things, and not that those things dont matter, but i need to have more faith that prayer is truly powerful.

i think the last time i stretched out really well was like a year ago. i dont think i can touch my toes, how sad.

today was a great day.

had lunch and dinner w/ kevino and sol. in between we filmed a music video. kevino did a lot of stuff to make me and sol laugh like crazy. i forgot how much fun we used to have together. hope the music video turns out alright.

went to friday night bible study to find out that there was none and that they were just showing a movie instead. but that was good cuz i got to talk to a bunch of people bout their missions trips. it was so cool hearing bout all these different stories and bout how God has been working in different countries. it kinda makes me wanna go somewhere and do another missions trip.

ron brought up a good question to me, i think he kinda indirectly said this (i think he just said it in different words): i need to ask myself, "can i give everything to God while im here?" like when ppl go overseas as career missionaries, theyre submitting to God and giving their all to Him. but when were living in the states theres so much that we cling to and i wonder if i would be able to sacrifice everything to Him if i decide to stay here.

on the way back home i was listening to the song "You said." i dunno if i never really thought bout the lyrics before or what, but lately ive been paying a lot closer attention to the lyrics of all the songs ive been listening to. but theres a part in the song where it goes:

you said
ask and ill give the nations to you oh Lord,
thats the cry of my heart
distant shores and the islands will see your light
as it rises on earth

i never really wondered what that stuff means. "ask and ill give the nations to you." so is that God speaking to us or is it us speaking to God? "distand shores and the islands will see your light." does that mean im saying, "ill go far away to preach Your truth and lead them to Your light?" man, ive never been stumped by praise song lyrics before. but this is one gangsta song if thats us speaking to God. ask and ill give the nations to You. that is one really powerful line. its a crazy act of obedience and it shows a gimongous amount of faith.

whenever anyone sees my car they comment on how dirty it is and that i should wash my car. i usually respond by telling them to wash it. i usually dont care cuz my car doesnt seem THAT dirty to me, i can live w/ a lil dirt. but when i came back yesterday, my car was filthy. it was like one of those commercials where those big SUV's tear through the forest and get all muddy and nasty and it looks all rugged and manly. well, thats what my car looked like, cept it just looked nasty. i was forced to go get a car wash cuz it was so nasty. the last time i got a car wash was like 2 years ago.

its been a whole month since ive been home. went through 6 airplane flights, 4 of most well known cities in the world, 4 different subway systems, 3 different countries, a million touristy sites, and 1 great experience.

it felt weird to be driving again, but its so much better than public transportation. im kinda tired of the subways and buses and miles of walking. ive been spoiled by my car.

weather in LA is awsome. i cant believe how stankin nice it is. nothing beats home.

too many people in this world work cuz they have to pay the bills. i dont wanna be like that.
i wanna work for God. i think if i do that then i dont have to worry bout the bills cuz He will take care of it.
when i think bout career i wanna focus on God and not money.

i tried to start my missions testimony today. i failed miserably.

i remember something this morning while taking a dump.
french toilet paper is not a square, its actually a little longer (bout and inch) than american toilet paper so its actually a rectangle.

they also date their stuff differently, they put the day, month, yr. i initially thought that their method was weird, but our method is actually weirder. y dont we just go from smaller unit of time to larger instead of going in a weird order. i mean our method is kind of logical, but its still kinda weird too.

i drank a shot of water per minute, 100 total shots. i think i drank over a gallon in an hr and a half.

i think i missed home for the first time today. im in ny and enjoying it here, but i still missed home. i miss playing IM sports. cant wait til the season starts.

ive been traveling so stankin much these past few days. ive been in 4 major cities in 3 days: paris, london, new york, washington d.c. from thursday to saturday. flew from paris into london on thursday morning. stayed one night in london. flew from london to new york on friday. stayed one night in new york. took the bus to wash d.c. on saturday. so ive been in d.c. for 3 nights, gonna bus it back to new york and stay there for a week. so much stankin traveling.

my ddong has been really hard these past few days. i think its either all the traveling ive done or the heat. ny and dc weather sucks. way too humid.

im in the middle of london now. went on a boat ride that toured all the sites by the river. was nice and relaxing. but for some reason i dont wanna go back out and walk around and see the sites. i dunno why, i just feel numb. ya, dunno how else to describe the feeling.

hello again blog world. the world of blog...

i be somewhere near london right now. found me a small field and a try to lie down against. i busted out my cd player and napped for a while. i wanted to reflect on my mission trip and debrief some but i guess i just needed some sleep.

i havent been able to clear things up in my head yet. things arent really processing but i wanna sort em out but at the same time i gotta deal w/ some new decisions for the future. i should sleep some more, maybe that will help.

french keyboards have keys in different places. it sux to type here.
i think im getting the hang of it tho.

my flight for missions leaves in less than 12 hrs and i still went to bensbargains.net. man, stankin habits. i still need to pack. this may be my last blog for a while. please pray for me, i really need it.

i had subway for lunch today. its the worst when the person who's making your sandwich is the new guy. i hate newbies. the guys probably been working there for like 2 days and he's never made a sandwich in his life. they make they biggest messes and they take forevs doing it. and u look to the worker next to them and they have the most delicious looking sandwich in their hands. hate it when that happens.

BKU9: y were u studying?
TrUsT2Eve: so that I can get good grades on tests and on my report card next year

i remind you that its wed, june 26th and eveyln's on summer vacation. true gangsta nerd....

oh ya, my grandma also fed me some figs. she was telling me bout the story of how Jesus was hungry and went to a fig tree but found no fruit. so he cursed the tree so that it wouldn't bear fruit ever again. its all in matthew ch 21. so she finished the story and said this is the fruit that Jesus was looking for. so i had some figs for the first time in my life.

i went and visited my grandma today. i think i totally made her day by just visiting her. i was in her area so i decided to stop by and chat w/ her. or rather just listen to her cuz i have no korean verbal skills at all. she kept saying the whole time she wishes that i could speak korean so that we could talk to each other. but since i wouldnt i just listened to her talk bout lotsa stuff. i was surprised that i understood most of what she said. she probably said everything as simple as possible though. but it was nice seeing her happy and just talking bout her life. during one point she mentioned how she was just preparing herself to leave this life and be at peace in heaven. that thought made me so sad, the thought of her passing away. but i should be joyful for her cuz she'll be in heaven, in the prescence of our God, how gangsta is that?

ive only had one person (that i personally knew) die in my lifetime. it was so shocking to hear bout his death. man, i cant imagine my grandma passing away. im scared that i wont feel enough remorse. i dunno if that makes sense but i guess i just hope i shed enough tears. like what if i dont shed any tears? would it be cuz im just cold hearted? or maybe cuz i didnt know my grandma well enough? i think i should just look at it another way. i still hope that im sad and mourn for her death but i also hope that after shes gone that ill enjoy the moments that we had together even more. is that even possible? to enjoy moments of the past even more? i hope so.

my grandma also brought up an interesting topic. i forgot how we got on this subject but she brought up the question, "what if your wife and your brother are drowning. who do you save first? or even better, which ONE do you save?" in my mind i was thinking my wife and i think she read my mind. she said that i would choose my wife right? but she went on to say that isnt the right way to think. she said that i should save my brother cuz hes blood. like theres no way to replace my blood like that but i think she kinda said that a wife is replaceable. i dont wanna quote her on that but i think thats kinda what she said. but ya, she was totally against saving the wife. she was totally for saving my bro. like i dunno what to think anymore. i still think that i should save my wife, but is that me being selfish in some sorta way? like what if i have kids and stuff? what if my bro has a family? but even excluding all other factors just wife or bro, who to choose? my mind keeps telling me that the wife is the one to save. maybe its a culture thing? i wonder who everyone would choose.

korea lost. sadnesses.

not as good as the money video but worth a look:

http://www.hellonetwork.com/demo/toysclub/video.asp?speed=hook300

david hasselhoff at his best....enjoy

i been doing some major driving for the past week. came down from berkeley last sunday. drove up and down to bakersfield last tuesday. went down to irvine and back on wed. finally drove up to valencia right next to magic mtn and came back. i think i drove bout 1000 miles this past week. i need some new cds to listen to.

so i went up to valencia, or rather stevenson ranch last night to visit my cousin. shes been married for almost 2 yrs and they moved into a new house that i havent seen yet. it was really entertaining just listening to em tell me bout when they dated and all these other things. i could see that they had so much love for each other and that God has been evident in their relationship. they said that before i know it, everyone around me is gonna be married. dang, my bro might be the next one, scary thought.

so last night i went to friday night bible study and the new education pastor for young nak led bible study for college group. when he said he was gonna preach on genesis chapter 1 i was thinking, "oh man, ive heard this a million times." but he actually surprised me and had some new insights to it. the interesting thing the pastor said was how moses related the creation story to the israelites. he said that moses was speaking somewhat to the israelites, that they were a "formless and empty" people but God was going to create things and mold them. and i began to realize how my own life is so "formless and empty." i have no idea what imma do w/ my life and i feel like so much of what i do is useless, its just wasted time. thinking bout that makes me depressed but i realize that God is creating stuff for me. hes gonna change my "formless and empty" state into something that is in His image. im hoping that part of this molding and building will happen when i take off for missions. dang, i leave in a week, crazinesses.

wow, korea continues to amaze people in soccer. that and they keep getting some lucky breaks. insanities...

man, i havent blogged in a while. but when most people say that its usually been like 3 weeks. for me its only been 3 days.

went to irvine last wed and chilled w/ my cousin. hes probably driving up to berk right now. its gonna be weird w/ him going to the same school as me now. i hope he likes it at berk. i should pray for him more. i should pray for everyone more. dang, i need to pray more for those who are on summer missions. i need to pray for myself too. so much stuff to pray for. i go pray now. i encourage you to go pray too. go pray!

went and chilled w/ isabel in bakersfield. interesting place, it was a nice visit. but not a place id want to live. not enough koreans and people get married too early. but some places have too many koreans. isabel was a very good hostess, she did the best she could to entertain me. she kept asking me what i wanted to do and where should we go but i didnt care what we did. just wanted to see what bakersfield was like and see her pad. got to meet her parents too, nice people.

then on the way home i saw these 2 dudes walking along the side of the road and i was thinking, "what the heck are they doing in the crazy heat walking?" and then i passed by them. i thought to myself, "dangit, i shouldve stopped and given them a lift." it was too late but i regreted not stopping and giving them a lift to the next stop or whatevs, cuz it was gangsta far.

then later there was a huge cloud of smoke and i passed by burnt up mountains. there was a gangsta fire and it was weird cuz the fire came alive and died out w/in 6 hrs but it went buckwild and left some damage. i bet i could look it up on the local news or whatevs but im a lazy butt.

oo phatyum oo: but ahn is seriously
oo phatyum oo: good looking
oo phatyum oo: like... i dont like him just cuz hes good
oo phatyum oo: i think hes good looking!

oo phatyum oo: i danno if i can handle another game!
oo phatyum oo: my stomach cant handle it
BKU9: aaaaahahaha
BKU9: just eat
oo phatyum oo: it hurt to the point where i wanted to poop

korea made some gangsta goals! it was exciting watching the game w/ my bro and dad. i was sad til korea scored in like the 88th min or whatevs.
dude, everyone jocks ahn. he is pimpin it. im jealous of his hair too. man, my hair should be like his. sigh.

go korea!

BKU9: man, my stomach be acting up on me
superizzie: oh no!
superizzie: that's not good
BKU9: its aight
superizzie: have ur mommy rub it
superizzie: haha
superizzie: that's what my mom did last night
superizzie: haha

so me jongmin and martini decided to get some flints barbq the other night. we had do wait a dang long time but it was worth it. food was good and we got to talk w/ one of the workers. this guy was a ghetto black guy. he was one funny guy. he was talking bout this one place that he ate at in emeryville. "man....that place was geeeeewwwwdddd. sh##########t." he was lost for words, he didnt have any vocabulary to describe how good it was. "that stuff....it was reeeaaaal geewd. my girl felt that one gewwwd too that night." i really enjoyed that conversation.

dude, its a crazy apt when u have kevin and jongmin in the same room. they were both telling us their own farting experiences and stories cuz kevin brought up the subject cuz he farted today really loudly in front of some friends and he was really embarrassed. so anyway, they were telling their stories and man, the room got so dang loud. if youve heard kevins laugh, his crazy laugh, it gets pretty dang loud and it makes me laugh just hearing his laugh. and then jongmin is just gangsta loud. u gotta always remind him to keep it down cuz he doesnt realize how crazy loud he is. his laugh is just sheer uncontrollable power. and then jongmin started chasing kevin around after he got out of the shower cuz of some stuff and kevin only had his boxers on and he was showing off his chest and belly hair. oh man, it was hilarious. kevin acts so funny when hes bout to get ripped cuz he starts apologizing like mad and laughing uncontrollably. and then martin popped in just at the right time w/ his camera and when he saw what was going on his eyes lighted up and he got all excited at the action. he got some nice pics in. hopefully martini will put em up on his website, www.martinkang.com

had my first day of motorcycle riding. man, i woke up late at like 6:45am, the time that i was supposed to be there. so i grabbed my gear and jammed over there but they had already started. and they said the day before that if ur even 5 min late then they probably cant catch u up and that you have to pay like a $50 fee and come back next time. i was pretty bummed but the guy let me get in and another instructor caught me up quickly. but man, motorcycle riding aint easy. it takes a lot of skill and practice. i would give mad props to any girl that can ride one well. dude, i dont even know if imma pass tomorrow. there were times when i was getting the hang of it but there were also times where i jacked up a grip. dude, theres one thing that i dont understand. if u wanna turn right then they tell u to push the handlebar w/ ur right hand. but if u push the right handlebar then the wheels turn left! but ur also supposed to lean to the right so i guess somehow the lean makes it turn. but the thing is if u push the handlebar w/ ur left hand then youll tip over cuz ur going at too crazy of an angle or whatevs. anyway, i just hope i pass tomorrow. id be embarrassed if i didnt cuz everyone would ask me how the motorcycle class went and id have to tell em that i failed it. maybe God is just gonna make me fail so that i dont kill myself riding a motorcycle. whatevs...

had dinner w/ julie and got to catch up on things. im glad that i came up to berk and was able to find out whats going on in peoples lives.
ended up playing monopoly w/ martini and jongmin as well. monopoly is evil, it makes people feel so down when they have to pay other people thousands of dollars cuz they landed on their property w/ a hotel on it. and the worst is when u just rolled a double and u have to roll again and u land on another hotel. even when u win u feel bad for the other person, monopoly just makes everyone feel bad.
talked w/ martini a lil afterwards. he told me to just think bout things more. i like this blog cuz it makes me think more. i can just write crap down but id rather write quality stuff. so i have to think up quality stuff. dangit, dont have anymore time to think, gotta wake up in 4 hrs to learn how to ride a motorcycle.

saw austin powers 2 the other night for the first time. it was still funny even though they reused a lot of the old jokes. mike myers is a good actor. heather graham sucks bigtime.

korea won. i wonder what would happen if people had as much pride in Christ as they did in their world cup soccer team. we need to boast in Christ more.

i had a pretty weird day. i pretty much hung out w/ young the entire day. she woke up late and i hadnt eaten lunch at that time so we went and grabbed some sandwiches by the far walgreens on telegraph by the freeway. both of us havent been there and someone told me it was good. that place was good, had big sandwiches w/ good meat. that place was pretty busy even tho it was 3pm. so after eating we just talked and lounged around and then martin stopped by and me and him rustled and tustled w/ each other. i remember my bro and i used to do that kinda stuff where we would try to pin each other and stuff w/out really hurting each other. then martin had to study and young and i were gonna go watch a movie in sf. andy got me 2 passes to a special screening of the bourne identity. so we go a lil late and find out that the theater was full and there were no more seats. and if that wasnt bad enough, we go back to my car 5 min later and find out that we still gotta pay $5 cuz its the evening all night fee crapola. so me and young were thinking of what to do in the city cuz we wasted $7 ($2 for toll). we ended up just driving randomly through sf and saw all these weird things like this sno-drift place and the golf driving range that i see on the way home from church and the bottom of the bay bridge where these 2 huge support beams are placed at a weird angle. we finally went back home after driving around the whole city and then she packed up some of her stuff to move while i hung out w/ julie for a lil. then we went and ate dinner at a korean restaurant. man, its sad that youngs leaving capri too. everyone seems to be leaving. wish everyone stayed longer so i could get to know em better and hang out w/ em more. man, i think even martins gonna leave soon. gotta keep making the most of the lil time thats left.

i think the worst part of laundry is folding up the clothes.

hayeun referring to the inadequate amount of females that are pleasing to the eyes:
Nueyah: give up, you're in berkeley. it's drought season, all year long, every year.
word...

marcia is a jacker:
BKU9: u can have my french and indian war paper
MarciaOckingbird: hahaha
BKU9: u wanna take it huh
MarciaOckingbird: haha no
MarciaOckingbird: that piece of crap?

c.s. lewis says some interesting stuff in the screwtape letters:
"I would make it a rule to eradicate from my patient any strong personal taste which is not actually a sin, even if it is something quite trivial such as a fondness for county cricket or collecting stamps or drinking cocoa. Such things, I grant you, have nothing of virtue in them; but there is a sort of innocence and humility and self-forgetfulness about them which I distrust. The man who truly and disinterestedly enjoys any one thing in the world, for its own sake, and without caring two-pence what other people say about it, is by that very fact forearmed against some of our subtlest modes of attack. You should always try to make the patient abandon the people or food or books he really likes in favour of the 'best' people, the 'right' food, the 'important' books." carnitas is the best and i dont care what u think or say bout that. same goes for flamin hot cheetos.

"It is far better to make them live in the Future. Biological necessity makes all their passions point in that direction already, so that thought about the Future inflames hope and fear. Also, it is unknown to them, so that in making them think about it we make them think of unrealities. In a word, the Future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity. It is the most completely temporal part of time - for the Past is frozen and no longer flows, and the Present is all lit up with eternal rays. Hence the encouragement we have given to all those schemes of thought such as Creative Evolution, Scientific Humanism, or Communism, which fix men's affections on the Future, on the very core of temporality. Hence nearly all vices are rooted in the future. Gratitude looks to the past and love to the present; fear, avarice, lust, and ambition look ahead." screw the future! the future is evil!

BKU9: who do u want me to bring?
BKU9: kevin?
superizzie: eek!

everyone around me is working cept myself. my bro wakes up at like 6:30am or something cuz he starts work at like 7:30am. everyone in my apt has a job. jongmin and kevin have work at 9am. andy gets up gangsta early as well cuz he has work in sf. and everyone whos taking summer school has a part time job or theyre at least looking for a job or internship. but billy ku, hes just messin around and doing nothing and waking up late. i feel like an unproductive loser. i hope God will still be pleased w/ my summer. 2 and a half weeks til missions. i think im more scared than excited. i hope that i wont be a waste of space there. ill probably end up being the slave boy since i dunno how to speak french.

im back in berk. ive realized that wherever i am, id rather be elsewhere. so right now i want to be in la. but when im down south i wanna be in berkeley. im never satisfied.

i went up to visit julie and on the way i was bout to stop by kathleens pad but i realized that she wasnt there anymore. when i was leaving julies pad i was gonna stop by the juns/janets pad but then i realized they gone too and so was the apt above them. sad, no more late night talks w/ any of em. no more playing clue w/ martini and hayeun. dang, i forgot to do that before hayeun left. time needs to stop going by so quickly. i should stop wasting my time playing counterstrike.

dank IM91: i feel like a girl right now
dank IM91: "oh no, i can't eat...its too late"

PHAT boy Shim: i thought i was going to faint when i saw ***** at church

i wonder why world cup is such a big deal to the world. then i wonder why its not such a big deal in the u.s.

im still using too much shampoo. im too used to needing lots of it.

im so sad. my mom just raged on me and made me cut my hair. she was fine w/ it the day before but i guess today it was just too messy for her likes so she forced my bro to cut my hair. man, there was so much hair piled up. man, wish she didnt make me cut it. i knew this day would come, it was inevitable. but nothing prepares u for this kinda stuff. its kinda like goodbyes. like for the seniors, a lot of em knew that they wouldnt see a lot of the other people again, and they knew that the day would come but it doesnt hit em til its ova. ok, that was a terrible analogy i think but its late and im tired and sad and im w/out my beloved hair. so ya, im walking around w/ short hair again. sadnesses.

ive been reading 1 corinthians these days. came across something interesting in ch 14:
"Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him..."
sigh, maybe its time for me to cut my hair....

i was riding w/ chonkey in his car and andy was in the backseat. earlier i asked chonkey if he sings loudly when he drives, like screaming loud to his linkin park cd. he said ya but he wouldnt scream for me. so then later when andy was in the car we were listening to track #2 on the hybrid theory album, its called "one step closer." if ur familiar w/ the song theres a part where it goes, "Everything you say to me!!!!" and chonkey screamed that really loud into my ear. then theres a part right after that follows sung by another person that goes, "Takes me one step closer to the edge, And I'm about to break!" and andy busts out w/ those lyrics out of no where. he had no idea that chonkey was gonna sing at all and he had no clue bout our earlier conversation so he thought chonkeys screaming was just random and he just followed after him out of the blue. andy cracks me up.

everyone loves to tell stories. i think thats a good talent or gift or whatevs to have: being a good story teller. some people suck at telling stories, they just always ruin it cuz of the way they tell it or they miss important details or whatevs. sometimes people just have bad stories. yesterday some friends and i were playing a board game and someone started talking bout a past experience they had w/ the same game. that person told their 1 min long story and it just left me thinking "and.....?" i was waiting for a punchline or something but nothing came after it. and i was thinking to myself "oh man that story sucked!" and i was laughing inside, actually i was laughing out loud as well and andy asked me what was so funny and i said that i would tell him later. i wish i could just tell the whole thing but i dont wanna hurt anyones feelings.

i started reading the screwtape letters by c.s. lewis. its some interesting stuff. man, this is the first time ive read for pleasure in a looooooooong time. probably since like elementary school or something like that. i got the book as a gift, i think it was a very good one. i like how the book is a bunch of short letters put together. it makes it easy to read and u can just sit down for 5 min and read just one letter or u could keep going as long as u want. but some books have like no breaks at all and i hate that cuz i dont like leaving in the middle of it. im looking forward to finishing this one and then going onto mere christianity.

the pegster talking bout herself:

nobobaforyou: u havent seen my rolls
nobobaforyou: and i aint talkin california

i think pablo and pattimayo got toasted at the beach yesterday. i think everyone got burned somewhat except for me. but pablos chest and pattimayos legs looked as pink as a flamingo. me, huge, and andy wasted a lot of time on the rocks trying to catch stupid crabs. why are those lil things so hard to catch?

ive been getting like 12 hrs of sleep a night. i like it.

so ya, i loved the lakers back in the day when nick van exel was the man and he always took the last shot and made these crazy 3 pointers all the time. and those were the years when the tv always caught elden cambell picking crap out of his year and looking at it and tossing aside. i think my bro and i are the only people that always noticed that. and thats when vlade divac was on the team too. but i dont like him since hes the biggest flop in the nba and he whines too much. but not as much as arvydas sabonis, i remember when that foo cried once after playing shaq, he was literally in tears on tv. thats pretty sad.

i need to fix my stankin computer, it still needs a new motherboard. i cant use the computer at night cuz my bro sleeps so dang early. but thats kinda better for me so that i sleep a bit earlier and get other lil junk done.

isabel is a bad maam a jamma:

superizzie: brb
superizzie: talkin to my girlfriend

ah yeah, lakers still own. but they aint as dominant as before. actually im much less of a laker fan now than i used to be. i loved the team like 5 years back when they had van exel and peeler and eddie jones and elden cambell and them. i gotta go but more on the lakers when i get back....

isabel talking bout herself on dank's sn:

dank IM91: they're all playing tony hawk
BKU9: u stressin?
dank IM91: nah
dank IM91: sylvia got me sick
dank IM91: it's all good though
dank IM91: i should go steal the remote cotrols from them
dank IM91: haha
dank IM91: and play myself
dank IM91: show them my skateboard moves
dank IM91: haha
dank IM91: u want some of this!
dank IM91: haha

i think i already miss berkeley.

it sucks that i dont have my own computer at home. my brother sleeps so dang early, like at 11pm cuz hes gotta wake up at like 6am or something like that. man, i dont think ill ever be able to get used to that kinda lifestyle. maybe ill just be forced to but imma hate it. his sleeping pattern is just another sign of him getting old.

ive realized that loyalty is a rare characteristics these days. especially in a friendship. i feel like were in an age where friendships come and go so quickly and that very few of them really last. i think friends tend to change even every semester depending on ur schedule and what classes ur taking and that kinda stuff. it seems like everyone is expected to have drama. its a normal thing for friends to jack friends for another girl/guy. they could make korean dramas out of our lives. i feel like i have only one truly loyal friend in the world. i know that hes the type of person to get my back no matter what. he would take a punch for me, he would take a bullet for me, that kinda stuff. hes gonna be there for me, the only thing he needs to know is when and where. ive realized thats y gangs do so well. is cuz they feel like theyve got a family. that no matter what, his guys are gonna be there for him and back him up. they show true loyalty cuz they dont abandon each other ever. i think its kinda the same thing w/ frats. the guys feel a sense of safety when theyre w/ each other and they just feel like theyre genuinely being cared for cuz theyre loyal to each other. and this is something that the church lacks. were so quick to give up on each other at the first sign of trouble. we point out each others faults w/out hesitation and expect them to change before we associate w/ them again. we need to stop jacking each other and show more loyalty towards each other.

for the past 3 nights before last night, i slept at 7am, if not 7:30am everynight (or rather morning). so i got 3 hrs, 2 hrs, 3 hrs respectively w/ one 3 hr nap in the middle of the day. i dunno how i was surviving. but finally last night i was able to crash forevs and got a good 14 hrs. man, it was pretty sad cuz i came home but i didnt get to say bye to everyone. like its not a big deal saying bye to those im gonna see next fall but im sad cuz the graduated people will be gone. hopefully i will get to see them again sometime. hopefully they will come back to see me graduate, but thatll probably be like another 4 yrs or whatevs....

Monkey528e: bon
BKU9: sup
BKU9: did u eat yet?
Monkey528e: nah
Monkey528e: wanna?
BKU9: ya
BKU9: where?
Monkey528e: where
BKU9: haha
Monkey528e: hah
BKU9: haha
Monkey528e: haha
Monkey528e: stop!
BKU9: hahahah
BKU9: ok

man, 7am. whatevs, i still feel like blogging.

ive realized how chi and i are so similar in certain ways. ive always thought that we were totally different but the similarities are still there. i think our minds think alike. they may not function or process the same way, but we still seem to come out generally w/ the same result. its weird how we have different personalities but we say the same things and we react in the same way.

dangit, i didnt get to write all the stuff that i wanted to cuz i was writing all these dang emails.

but ya, i think the reception will be very enjoyable since andy, janet, anica, and grace lost in taboo. i cant wait...

its crazy late and i wrote that blog bout 3 hrs ago but i didnt post it cuz i was talking w/ andy bout many things. we talked bout a grip of things but i dont remember anything cept one thing.....

so this is during 2nd semester freshman yr. me and andy were helping karen move out of the dorms and she was gonna leave some of her stuff at franks pad. so frank was getting swiped into priestly hall and the machine didnt register his card. on like the third try the sm monitor kinda mis-swiped and the card literally exploded. it was still all together but the card was dangling by threads all over the place. i was so scared at the moment cuz i didnt know frank well then. he had this mean look on his face and he seemed so pissed. but he looked like he was trying to hold in his anger but it seemed like he had so much anger that he couldnt hold it in. then he said, "i obviously dont live in this hall so theres no point in swiping my card." i think the sm monitor was scared as well but he didnt even really apologize, he just kinda handed back what was left of the card. while we were in the elevator he looked at the card and he was angry cuz he had that same card for 4 1/2 yrs w/out any troubles. oh man, i wish i had a picture of franks grill when his card exploded.

heres another story i remembered. so john chi and mejeld were over at my pad for a lil bit. me and john were talking bout the laker game and how crazy their comeback was. mejeld comes in and heres us and gets in on the laker talking. he starts off, "dude, the guys were over at my place and we were going crazy." then chi would say, "all the youth group ppl were over at pastor johns and we were going nuts. they seriously thought that i was gonna break some furniture when horry hit that shot." mejeld said, "all the guys were bashing on the lakers and jaepil was talking trash the whole time. seriously, he wouldnt stop. he kept on going and it was so frustrating." john, "dude!!! jomo and slum were hating on the lakers like crazy and everyone else was for the sacramento too and the only ones who were for LA were me and jessica but she was in the corner crying cuz they were losing so badly." mejeld, "when there were 11 second left, i was so hoping that they would win. i looked at jaepils eyes and they were wide open like this! seriously he was staring at the tv screen so hard" john,"oh my gosh. when horry hit that three i went so crazy. like my eyes were on horry and then right after the ball went through the hoop i turned to jomo and slum, and slum was like, "oh.....OHHHH!!!!!!....." and he was in such disbelief. and then i jumped up and screamed and frank didnt care who won but he saw slum and he started laughing at him like crazy and i jumped right into him and knocked him over so hard. i seriously knocked him like crazy." mejeld,"right after the shot i went crazy and i almost hurt sammy cuz i jumped on him and u know his back, so like ya i almost hurt him badly. and then my NAIM director called and i was trying to talk to him but everyone was going crazy and was all loud and screaming and i was trying to talk to him and i was like uh ya but i wanted to watch the tv but i trying to talk to him at same time and dude, it was so crazy. he thought party was going on and he asked me what it was all about." john,"oh my gosh, i ran into frank like this (he demostrated) and i hit him really hard and i thought i was seriously gonna break something."
..........2 guys telling their own stories w/out really listening to each other except using each others stories as a segway to theirs. i thought it was quite hilarious cuz each was so into their own story. they were just really wrapped in themselves. if u didnt enjoy this im sorry, u just had to be there.

i think my humor has changed in college. i think ive become a lot more cynical w/ my jokes. like whenever anyone asks me to do this or pass that or whatevs, i respond w/ a no. like someone would call and ask, "can i talk to andy" (this happens quite often and id bet $10 that its a female) and i would respond by saying, "no." i make lots of sarcastic remarks and i just say "mean" things. but i dont mean to be "mean." im just joking and i find humor in my sarcasm at times. but most of the time its just an automatic response. it has become normal to me and i dont like it. so from now on i think imma try to be "nicer." hopefully everyone doesnt think im really mean. but whatevs. if u think that then.....i dunno. if u think im mean then just tell me that im mean or just dont talk to me. but if u really think im mean then u probably dont talk to me already.

dude, i just stubbed my toe. i was walking in the bedroom and i banged my right pinky toe against pauls bed leg and it hurt like a motha. oh man, i was in so much pain for like half a minute. its so weird how that kinda stuff hurts so much. man, i hate hitting my toes against crap.

"i'm off to the library, woo hoo, i love finals week."
kevin chiang is one of the nerdiest nerd i know....

y the heck did i just check my email right now......y the heck am i blogging this crappers now....go study....no.....now......screw it......i hate school.....

let me clarify....when i said "i go try to study a lil more" i meant "imma go over to kathleens and talk w/ her amy and charles for 3 1/2 hrs." final in t minus 4 hrs and counting.....y the heck to they say t minus blah blah when counting down? or am i just making that stuff up cuz im delirious?

4:30am, got a final in 8 hrs, great time to update my blog. its a horrible feeling having a final while everyone else is done and playing. i wish i could just say screw it but theres something in me that somewhat cares bout my grade. i dunno what it is. its not like i dont care at all, but i think i barely care enough to do decently. i would go deeper into this but im a lazy somama so imma just stop. i go try to study a lil more. key word = try.

s n o b unnynk: there will be lotsa pretty athletic women
BKU9: hahaha
BKU9: ugh
s n o b unnynk: and lotsa athletic men
s n o b unnynk: hubba hubba
s n o b unnynk: and i'll give u yummy jolly rancher fruit chews
BKU9: id rather just have andy and huge
s n o b unnynk: u gotta play the field a lil
s n o b unnynk: andy & huge are nice.. sure .. but for how long?

im stankin tired. was at the library and i studied for the first time in my life. i slept for like an hr and then i studied for bout 2 hrs. and while i was studying i was thinking, "hey, this studying stuff aint too bad." dont get me wrong, i still dont LIKE studying, its just that i guess i dont HATE it. but then again when i was trying to study at dennys later i was hating it, so i guess that library instance was just a fluke.

for like the past few nights ive been sleeping w/out brushing my teeth. every one of those nights i thought to myself, "imma just take a nap in my bed." but that never works. ya, i know all of us have done that before, we convince our minds that were gonna wake up but our bodies dont cooperate. but ya, id always wake up at like 8am and realize that im in the same clothes and so id brush my teeth and take out my contacts and change and then go back to bed. i shouldnt do that anymore, i shall brush my teeth tonight.

so ya, last night i was kinda depressed cuz i have no direction in my life. but i slept it off and now im all good. i guess it just forces me to trust in God all the more. i keep searching for my future but all i get is nothing and its not scary but i just want motivation i guess. whatevs, ill leave it up to Him. i wonder if im just saying this cuz i have no other choice...

i just posted some junk but i decided to take it back. ill just add some crap later. this sucks.

ok, now working

y wont my stankin blog work....

so this past sat i was at the young nak basketball tournament. the first game that i played in was such a heartbreaker. the other team hit the last shot at the buzzer to win by two. what a sad game....

so ive heard that hayeun is pretty ghetto. i heard she packs food to go to denny's. i thought that was pretty funny.

i was talking w/ some friends the other night and john chi was there and we were talking bout his bad stank breath. dontchu hate it when ur talking w/ someone and u smell their nasty breath and ur thinking to urself, "oh man! can u please turn around and speak the other way!" sometimes people dont take enough breath mints or chew enough gum or they dont brush their teeth enough. but ya, i feel that way bout john chi sometimes when his grill is up close and his breath be kickin like bruce lee.

BKU9: just finished the bball tourny
superizzie: dang
superizzie: cool
superizzie: im a baller too

haha, isabel is a baller, hahahaha.......

its nice to be back home and not worry bout school. but its kinda weird cuz like all the streets and freeways are familiar but i dont feel totally comfortable on em. like when im in the bay area i feel comfortable on the roads, i even know where all the potholes and bumpy areas are and places of construction and junk like that. but down at home things arent quite like how they used to be. maybe im just being a weirdo and people dont understand, whatevs.

so my bro was trying to convince me not to get a motorcycle. hes pretty paranoid and worrying that ill kill myself. i guess im just being stubborn by agreeing w/ him but not caring and still having a desire to get one. but i think if God really didn't want me to have a bike then it won't happen. first i gotta get my license, then i gotta buy a bike, then i gotta pay for insurance. so it seems like a long process so well just have to wait and see what happens.

i think everyones getting sentimental at this time of the year. had a class prayer meeting and everyones talking bout how the seniors say that they regret not getting to know their fellow classmates better and my class people was saying they didnt wanna have the same regret. and then after just hanging out at laura/amy/janets place and then kathleens place ive realized that these people will be gone. i guess the only thing i can do is make the most of it w/ the time that we got left.

finally a moment to breath and relax. so im practically finished now, only ling final left on the 25th. man, i had a good 14 hr sleep. but i woke up to no running water. sucks, no water til 3pm. dude, water is so important. we cant live or function w/out it. i think were lucky to have unlimited amounts of water. i just took a dump and now no one else in my apt can cuz the water level didn't come back up. oh well, paul and andy are still sleeping so whatevs. cmon, i want my water back already so that i can shower....

woohoo....done w/ the ling paper. 3 and a half hrs to study for korean. how do i always manage to pull off this crap at the last minute? i think ive had to much practice.

reminder of a good way to stay awake: drink massive amounts of water. itll make you pee every half hr. my pee was so clear that it didnt look like i even peed so i didnt flush the toilet.

a good way to avoid paper and studying: write in my blog.

i decided to take a 5 min break after doing 2 pages of my paper which was a very big mistake. i think the break lasted for bout an hr, i ended up reading a bunch of blogs. dang all u other bloggers out there.....6 hrs left....

sigh, 2am now. 9 hrs left. i hate school.

ive got a ling paper to do and a korean final to study for and ive got 10 hrs to do both of em. plenty of time. thing is, im so stankin tired right now. woke up at like 8:45am for sunday service and then was at church til like past 5pm or so. then played basketball at oregon. hope i can hang tonight....

so someone just called right now and they kept pushing the numbers. i thought it was a baby just messing around w/ a phone and dialing random numbers. so i just started jabbering jibbersish and junk and telling the baby to stop messing around and then i sang britney spears "oops i did it again" for a lil too. then it hung up and then i get a call a min later from lil hannah kim saying that it was her that accidently called. apparently her cell was in her bag or something and it kept moving around and she was scared cuz she thought it was her laptop talking to her even though it wasnt on. she thought her laptop was possessed so she got really scared. wish i couldve seen her reaction.

ran 5K today for one of the missions fundraisers. 5K = 3.1 miles. man, now charles and mike want me to go play ball w/ em. im getting too old for this stuff. in the 5K runathon one of these little boys passed me, he must've been like 14 tops. i thought he was gonna burn out so fast but he tore it up and humbled me. even one girl beat me. i saw her on the last stretch and i was like, i shouldnt let a girl beat me so i was sprinting pretty hard but it was just too little too late. so sad.

so my birthday just passed, i thought that everyone would forget and that the day would just pass by like any other normal day. or at least thats what i kinda hoped. i dunno y i feel that way, im just weird like that. i dont like making a big deal out of my bday, i would rather have a regular day for no really good reason. but im really grateful for all those who remembered and wished me a happy bday. but ya, many people emailed and called and dropped by. i feel that this was just a sign that God has blessed me soooo abundantly. everything kinda took me by surprise. oh man, im falling asleep, im stankin tired. but ya, i was encouraglllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllhllllllhed......oh man, i just dozed off for a sec. ok i gotta wrap this up.

so hayuen was ova and we had one of those long night talks. we talked from like 3-6am. i miss those talks, i havent had one in a very long time. i gotta do this more. sad, bout 2 weeks left for seniors.....

i think everyone and their mama's mamas begins their blog w/ "wow, i havent written in my blog for a while" or something to that affect. it seems like only a handful of people update their blogs consistently. does this mean i just have too much time on my hands?

sigh, the weekend raced on by as usual.

so i went to barnes and nobles cuz janet needed to do some research stuff and i was just looking at random books. man, going there made me wanna read more. i just felt smarter being in that place and i know that i would feel more educated if i read stuff. i should read more books. i could learn so much from reading, especially from reading christian books. i be stankin tired. at least i dont gotta do college writing.

senior banquet was good. i think the juniors did a fine job. and the skit that i was in went pretty well. i thought that my skit was gonna bomb cuz we was supposed to be funny but i wasnt sure if it people would take it as comedy. but i think the seniors enjoyed it and they got a lot of laughs out of it. man, this was just another reminder that they gonna be gone soon.

in other news, my big toe nail fell off. that thing was bruised for like over a month and finally it fell off today. it was pretty nasty, it still looks nasty. wonder if the little bruised toe nail on my left foot will fall off too. now i got 2 blisters from the kobes on my right foot where the arch is. its partly cuz i played ball again today but the main reason is that the kobe shoes suck. dang, my feet are getting tow up.

i played bball today. i played soooo badly, i couldnt pass worth crap. and i wore the new kobe shoes that i bought for $30. man, those shoes hurt like mad. they hurt where the arch is (or where the arch is supposed to be cuz im flat footed). but thing is, i dont think its due to my flat-footedness cuz john chi said that his hurt in the same exact place and he said that others also have the same pain in the same place. hope my foot doesnt cramp in the middle of the night. those r one of the worst cramps. shear pain out of no where for 10 sec and then straight back to sleep.

dangit, i was planning on buying a $10 scooter from kbtoys.com but i just lagged on it. i was gonna buy it now but theyre sold out. somama....word of advice: if u ever run across a good deal, dont hesitate, just go for it. if its a good deal then u wont be wasting too much money even if u dont like it.

6:15am....hating it even more....

stankin 5am. imma be hating it again in the morning. whats wrong w/ me, why am i still up?

i cant hang w/ college writing. i gotta drop. i think imma be at berkeley forevs.

y am i being so random? i think im burnt out. from what, i dunno...

haha, i was searching for paul's website and i ran into this site while searching through google.
http://members.tripod.com/~xntrx/Photos/97-98/random.html
its paul andy and huge from way back (prob soph year).